{"id":81762,"date":"2019-04-13T16:09:03","date_gmt":"2019-04-13T22:09:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/?p=81762"},"modified":"2020-10-06T16:46:31","modified_gmt":"2020-10-06T16:46:31","slug":"how-to-fight-fear-on-facebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2019\/04\/13\/how-to-fight-fear-on-facebook\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Fight Fear on Facebook"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><span style=\"color:#000000;\">The Irony of Facebook\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color:#000000;\"><strong><em>&#8220;Facebook was not originally created to be a company. It was built to accomplish a social mission&#8211;to make the world more open and connected.&#8221;<\/em> &#8211;Mark Zuckerberg<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color:#000000;\">The irony of Facebook is that while its founder says he intended it to bring people together, there is ample evidence it is doing the opposite, driving people and ripping society apart. If you want to read about that evidence, here are two well-written articles:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color:#000000;\">.<\/span><br \/>\n<figure id=\"attachment_81763\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-81763\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a style=\"color:#000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/opinion\/facebook-is-ripping-society-apart-and-other-reasons-to-abandon-social-media-20171214-h04iyt.html\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-81763\" src=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/screen-shot-2019-04-13-at-2.58.00-pm-1.png?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"107\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-81763\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"color:#000000;\">Toni Hassan: &#8220;Facebook is ripping society apart and other reasons to abandon social media&#8221;<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color:#000000;\">.<a style=\"color:#000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/media-network\/2016\/jun\/28\/social-media-networks-filter-bubbles\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-81764\" src=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/screen-shot-2019-04-13-at-3.02.09-pm-1.png?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"113\" \/><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color:#000000;\">I have two sets of Facebook friends who appear to be growing increasingly fearful of and suspicious of each other, even hostile toward one another.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0They\u00a0self-identify as conservatives and liberals.\u00a0<\/span>I know almost all of my Facebook friends personally\u2014meaning I actually think of them as my <em>friends<\/em>, not mere acquaintances. I know that not a single one of my conservative friends and not a single one of my liberal friends is a stupid, rotten person. And yet I left Facebook for 4 months because it feel like, yes, the platform drives people apart. It&#8217;s rife with fear-mongering, arguing, name-calling, and negativity, and those are stupid, rotten things. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">For the past 4 months, I&#8217;ve been writing a book about the ways poetry, spirituality and love can work to change people from fearful, bitter, self-centered, argumentative, fighting and warring, into hospitable, forgiving, helpful, generous, loving and peaceful.\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">If you read the two articles I linked to (above), you will see that Facebook, and other social media platforms, exploit our weaknesses&#8211; our fears, our pride, and our greed. And if you read poetry and\/or practice a spiritual way of life, you will know that all of us have a need for transformation. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Poetry, in its intense practice of putting the <em>best<\/em> words in the <em>best<\/em> order, teaches us that exceptionally good poems come out of a process of deliberate, sometimes painful revision. The practice of reading poetry teaches us that a superficial reading will never reveal the depth of wisdom, beauty, wonder, delight or thought in a poem. Poetry only rewards those who will not be satisfied with what&#8217;s easy, who are willing to go deeper. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Spirituality, also teaches us the need for revision and depth. We are not naturally forgiving, helpful, generous, loving or peaceful. If we want to become those things, we have to change. And no authentic spirituality promises that our transformation will come easily.\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">This morning I woke up with the worst headache I\u2019ve had in nearly 40 years. \u201cBrain tumor!\u201d I thought. My second thought was, \u201cMeningitis!\u201d Not long after, my third thought emerged, \u201cSinus pressure.\u201d The third was, of course, the actual culprit. Hot compresses, steam, and an hour of sipping fluids remedied my pain.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>But why did I automatically awfulize my headache? Due to years of <a style=\"color:#000000;\" href=\"http:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2014\/03\/07\/c-is-for-cbt-living-well-despite-everything\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">CBT work<\/a> and <a style=\"color:#000000;\" href=\"http:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2018\/09\/27\/23-spiritual-practices-taught-by-the-rule-of-benedict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">spiritual practice<\/a>, I got past that stinking thinking in a matter of moments, but it\u2019s clear there is still plenty of fear happening in my head.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Facebook has become incredibly crafty at exploiting human fear, as well as taking advantage of human pride and greed. But let&#8217;s remember that ancient wisdom calls these things vices, sins, or moral failings, and science calls them base animal instincts, and both psychologists and spiritual leaders believe it is\u00a0<em>better<\/em> if we overcome them. They also make it clear that we &#8212; you and I as individuals &#8212; are responsible for our own growth. Either we choose to remain fearful, greedy and full of ourselves, or we choose to work at growing into a better kind of person.<\/span><br \/>\nThe reason I went back to Facebook is that it really does make it easier for me to connect with people. And as of now, there isn&#8217;t anything else that makes it so easy to stay in touch with many, many people, all of whom I care about. Facebook has it&#8217;s good points; it could, however, be better.<br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">I think it&#8217;s a mistake to blame Facebook for the fact that something meant to bring us together has become something that drives many, many people apart. Facebooks users did this. The people who use Facebook have created the irony of Facebook. \u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Religion, by the way, is something else that intended to unite people, to make us better, kinder, more helpful, forgiving, peaceful people. And look what&#8217;s been done with that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color:#000000;\">The Problem of Fear<\/span><\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color:#000000;\"><strong><em>&#8220;The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.&#8221;<\/em> &#8211;Franklin Delano Roosevelt<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"ast-oembed-container\" style=\"height: 100%;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"FDR Inauguration &quot;Fear Itself&quot; Sound Bite PublicDomainFootage.com\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/6PbWBWYoetI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color:#000000;\">I&#8217;ll keep this part short. Pride and greed, as well as anger, hate, anxiety and guilt, all come out of fear. It&#8217;s pretty clear, then, that humanity&#8217;s big problem, the thing that keeps us humans locked in stupid, rotten behavior, and prevents us becoming more\u00a0forgiving, helpful, generous, loving or peaceful, is fear.\u00a0\u00a0 And that means, if we want Facebook to work, or religion to work, or anything that is meant to help us be more open-hearted and unified, to <em>work<\/em>, we have to fight against fear. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>How to Fight Fear on Facebook<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color:#000000;\"><strong><em>&#8220;God, give us the courage to change the things which should be changed.&#8221;<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:right;\"><span style=\"color:#000000;\"><strong>&#8211;Reinhold Niebuhr<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#000000;\"><strong><em>&#8220;I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.&#8221; &#8212; Aldous Huxley<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\"><span style=\"color:#000000;\">I&#8217;ll keep this part short, too. Nothing more needs to be said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>How to Overcome Fear<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color:#000000;\">I&#8217;ve already told you I&#8217;ve been writing a book. It&#8217;s\u00a0a collection of creative essays called <i>Book of Transformations: Poetry, Spirituality, Love. <\/i>I have a visiting scholar\u2019s office at Saint Benedict\u2019s Monastery, a blissfully quiet place where I can research, reflect and write.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">On my first day there, when I joined the Sisters for lunch, Sister Mary Rachael asked what I was working on. After I told her, she grasped both my hands and whisper-spoke what sounded like a condolence, \u201cOh, so you\u2019ll be going through transformation, too. I\u2019ll be praying for you.\u201d<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">It was a <i>deer-caught-in-the-headlights<\/i> moment. Yikes, more changes? I&#8217;m <em>tired<\/em>. I&#8217;ve got a book to write. I don&#8217;t have time for all this personal transformation. But why was I surprised? I had, after all, chosen the title for my <i>Book of Transformations\u00a0<\/i>from a line in Stanley Kunitz\u2019s poem, \u201cThe Layers,\u201d<i> <\/i>which ends with the words, \u201cI am not done with my changes.\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve been learning while working on a book about the ways poetry, spirituality and love can work to change <strong>me<\/strong> from fearful, bitter, self-centered, and argumentative, into a more hospitable, forgiving, helpful, generous, loving and peaceful person:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">1) Authenticity is crucial. No matter how hard I work to change things, nothing will change if I don\u2019t behave in ways that are consistent with what I say I believe in. Believing the right things won\u2019t change anything; <i>doing <\/i>the right things will.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">2) I need help. When Sister Mary Rachael took my hand, she wasn\u2019t offering empty words. She was pledging to support me, and she, and all my communities <i>are<\/i> supporting me. I couldn\u2019t write this book, I couldn\u2019t become a more loving human, and I couldn\u2019t live peacefully and happily and healthfully with a spouse who has mild cognitive impairment (the beginning stage of dementia) without the help of God and the good people who surround me.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">3) To like and be liked is fun; to love and be loved is essential. I don\u2019t need to agree with other people, understand them, or even like them, but it&#8217;s still my duty to support and love them. Real communities understand and live this truth. If I only \u201clove\u201d the people who are like me, I fail to love. If I fear the people who are unlike me, I also fail to love.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">4) I am always a beginner. As long as I am alive, I am &#8220;not done with my changes.&#8221; Transformation is an ongoing, life-long process. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">This is what makes life good: living in God (or if you don\u2019t believe in God, use the word Love) with other people <b><i>while continually deepening our relationships <\/i><\/b>to both.<\/span><br \/>\nI<span style=\"color:#000000;\">\u2019m working very hard and very deliberately to create a blog and write a book that will welcome all of my friends, and all strangers who would be friends, no matter their politics, religious beliefs (or nonreligious beliefs) in to explore with me what it takes for us\u2014 for you and me\u2014to grow into the the kind of loving people whose presence in the world, just because we are here, makes the world, even Facebook, a better place. We can be and do so much better. I know we can. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:#000000;\">Thank\u00a0<b>you<\/b> for joining me in the journey to become less fearful, more loving people everywhere we go in the world and in cyberspace.\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-81765\" src=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/screen-shot-2019-04-13-at-4.48.50-pm.png?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Irony of Facebook\u00a0 &#8220;Facebook was not originally created to be a company. It was built to accomplish a social mission&#8211;to make the world more open and connected.&#8221; &#8211;Mark Zuckerberg The irony of Facebook is that while its founder says he intended it to bring people together, there is ample evidence it is doing the &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2019\/04\/13\/how-to-fight-fear-on-facebook\/\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">How to Fight Fear on Facebook<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":81770,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[525,554,1073,1094],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81762"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81762"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81762\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/81770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}