{"id":3709,"date":"2014-10-27T07:58:52","date_gmt":"2014-10-27T13:58:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tracyleekarner.com\/?p=3709"},"modified":"2014-10-27T07:58:52","modified_gmt":"2014-10-27T13:58:52","slug":"n-is-for-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2014\/10\/27\/n-is-for-no\/","title":{"rendered":"N is for NO!"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_3711\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3711\" style=\"width: 480px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141017_172811.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3711\" src=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141017_172811.jpg\" alt=\"I asked my brilliant, funny friend Dennis Vogen, who knows American Sign Language, to send me a picture of him &quot;signing NO!&quot; Now you know why I love him. \" width=\"480\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141017_172811.jpg 480w, https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141017_172811-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3711\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I asked my brilliant, funny friend Dennis Vogen, who knows American Sign Language, to send me a picture of him &#8220;signing NO!&#8221;\u00a0Besides being adorably witty, he&#8217;s also a talented young writer. <a title=\"Dennis' Books\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/s\/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&amp;field-keywords=dennis+vogen\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">You can find his books here.\u00a0<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>This series is an alphabetical exploration of<a title=\"L is for Let-it-go\" href=\"http:\/\/tracyleekarner.com\/2014\/09\/17\/l-if-for-let-it-go-dump-5-things-to-increase-happiness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u00a026 options for living well, despite everything. <\/a>It answers the question\u2013<strong><em>How can a we live well, despite\u00a0problems?<\/em> <\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>By Saying No!\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>I was taught\u00a0to be <em>nice<\/em>, to say okay, fine, yes &#8212; while smiling politely. Yet,\u00a0while saying &#8220;NO!&#8221; may strike us as <em>not nice<\/em>, saying yes too often leads to overcommitment, which leads to stress. And stress, according to health professionals at\u00a0the Mayo Clinic, is unhealthy.<br \/>\nSo I&#8217;ve been thinking&#8230;There are 10 commandments, which for thousands of years, have served to define what is moral and decent in human conduct.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Thou shalt say yes,<\/em>\u00a0is not one of them.<\/li>\n<li>And 8 of the 10 commandments\u00a0are stated in the negative. <em>&#8220;Thou shalt not&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Why?<br \/>\n<strong>Because\u00a0NO! is powerful.<\/strong><br \/>\nBy learning to say no, to overcommitment, overindulgence, and\u00a0other people&#8217;s requests for my time (which if given, may further their agenda while derailing my life), I&#8217;ve learned two paradoxes.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Real freedom exists only within boundaries, and<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Stating\u00a0the negative\u00a0is often\u00a0positive.<\/strong>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Saying no is healthy.<\/strong> It&#8217;s the pathway to stress relief.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Saying no is respectful.<\/strong> By turning down new commitments, I\u00a0honor those I&#8217;ve already made.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Saying no is adventurous.<\/strong> By saying no to something I&#8217;ve always done, I\u00a0free\u00a0up time to get to know new people, new places, and new activities.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Saying no can be\u00a0generous.<\/strong> By refusing to participate, I\u00a0leave a place for someone else to come to the table, to do the work or join the party.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Still, it can be difficult\u00a0to say NO!\u00a0<a title=\"when\/how to say now\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/healthy-living\/stress-management\/in-depth\/stress-relief\/art-20044494?pg=2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">To\u00a0learn when and how to say NO, (click here.)<\/a><br \/>\n<a title=\"J is for Just-Do-It!\" href=\"http:\/\/tracyleekarner.com\/2014\/07\/02\/j-is-for-just-do-it-living-well-despite-everything\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">(And See <em>Just-Do-It<\/em>)<\/a>.<br \/>\n<strong>When do you find it difficult to say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This series is an alphabetical exploration of\u00a026 options for living well, despite everything. It answers the question\u2013How can a we live well, despite\u00a0problems? By Saying No!\u00a0 I was taught\u00a0to be nice, to say okay, fine, yes &#8212; while smiling politely. Yet,\u00a0while saying &#8220;NO!&#8221; may strike us as not nice, saying yes too often leads to &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/2014\/10\/27\/n-is-for-no\/\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">N is for NO!<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[650,802,936,937,938],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3709"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3709"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3709\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tracyrittmueller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}